長(zhǎng)篇大論不僅讓人閱讀困難，也很容易偏離原本意思。在這篇博客中，ISE 資深編輯Lisa Clancy將例舉幾處經(jīng)由國(guó)際科學(xué)編輯ISE潤(rùn)色的文章來(lái)討論如何減少科學(xué)論文中的用詞累贅。

尋找同義詞

原文 ： People use social media to share their views, thoughts, and opinions.

改后：People use social media to share their views.

Views, thoughts 和 opinions都是同義詞。你可以去掉這兩個(gè)詞，卻不影響閱讀理解。

原文： In the future, corresponding regions of the fear circuit observed in this study could serve as a basis for further study.

改后： Corresponding regions of the fear circuit observed in this study could serve as a basis for further study.

In the future 和 further study 是同義詞，所以前者可以在不影響閱讀理解的情況下被刪除。

尋找累贅詞

原文 ： The corrosion properties were investigated at the 2 h and 6 h time points.

改后： The corrosion properties were investigated at 2 h and 6 h.

累贅就是用不同的詞重復(fù)相同的意思。在上面的例子中，我們知道2h和6h就是time points，因此可以在不影響理解的情況下去掉這一項(xiàng)。

原文： R2 values ranged from 0.52 to 0.79, thus suggesting that the OEE scale was reliable.

改后： R2 values ranged from 0.52 to 0.79, suggesting that the OEE scale was reliable.

Thus 在這里是多余的。雖然只有一個(gè)詞被刪除了，但是整個(gè)文章的小改動(dòng)加起來(lái)就會(huì)提高整體的寫(xiě)作水平。

原文 ： Sea surface temperatures were highest in these months of the year.

改后： Sea surface temperatures were highest in these months.

Of the year 多余，可以在不影響理解的的情況下被移除。

尋找不必要的修飾語(yǔ)

原文： The vocal repertoires of the individuals belonging to the two subspecies were rather similar.

改后： The vocal repertoires of the individuals belonging to the two subspecies were similar.

rather similar與similar之間沒(méi)有區(qū)別；因此rather是不必要的，可以刪除。

尋找不必要的虛詞

原文： There are many studies that have shown an association between 25-hydroxyvitamin D serum level and blood pressure.

改后： Many studies have shown an association between 25-hydroxyvitamin D serum level and blood pressure.

There are 在這個(gè)例子中被稱(chēng)為語(yǔ)法上的強(qiáng)調(diào)補(bǔ)充詞。它用來(lái)強(qiáng)調(diào)句子的主語(yǔ)。有時(shí)被認(rèn)為是“虛詞”，應(yīng)該謹(jǐn)慎使用。

尋找重復(fù)詞

原文： The cumulative release rates of β-EF-Bar and β-EF-Bar-Lip were 8% and 7.4% at 1 h, the cumulative release rates were 7.8% and 5.9% at 6 h, and the cumulative release rates were 67% and 51.4% at 192 h, respectively.

改后： The cumulative release rates of β-EF-Bar and β-EF-Bar-Lip were 8% and 7.4% at 1 h, 7.8% and 5.9% at 6 h, and 67% and 51.4% at 192 h, respectively.

在本例中，Cumulative release rates 被不必要地重復(fù)多次。

原文： The antioxidant effect of the drug is evident from the significant effect of the drug on lipid peroxidation activities.

改后： The antioxidant effect of the drug is evident from its significant effect on lipid peroxidation activities.

通常，對(duì)于簡(jiǎn)單的句子，名詞或名詞短語(yǔ)可以用代詞代替。在這個(gè)例子中，名詞drug可以用代詞its代替，而不會(huì)影響理解。、

原文： Vibrio harveyi has been extensively studied over the past 10 years. From these studies, several virulence factors have been identified in V. harveyi.

改后： Extensive studies of Vibrio harveyi over the past 10 years have identified several virulence factors.

Vibrio harveyi 可以通過(guò)組合句來(lái)避免重復(fù)。

原文： In this study, we compared the virulence of the most common serovars of Pseudomonas aeruginosa in China in BALB/c mice and piglets. Intraperitoneal injection was used to compare P. aeruginosa virulence in BALB/c mice and piglets.

改后： In this study, we compared the virulence of the most common serovars of Pseudomonas aeruginosa in China in BALB/c mice and piglets using intraperitoneal injection.

Pseudomonas aeruginosa 和 BALB/c mice and piglets 可以通過(guò)組合句來(lái)避免重復(fù)。

原文： Scholars suspect that bqsA plays an significant role in inhibiting virulence in pathogenic Vibrio and have conducted some studies to explore the function of the bqsA gene.

改后： Various studies have explored the function of bqsA, which is suspected to play a significant role in inhibiting the virulence of pathogenic Vibrio.

可以通過(guò)重組句式來(lái)避免bqsA 的重復(fù)使用。

原文 ： We measured serum IL- 33 levels by ELIZA assay.

改后： We measured serum IL- 33 levels by ELIZA.

ELIZA是enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay的縮寫(xiě)，即assay已經(jīng)是全稱(chēng)中的一部分，不用重復(fù)。

盡可能使用主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)

原文 ： The migration of HCC cells was shown to be inhibited by GA.

改后： GA inhibited the migration of HCC cells.

主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)通常比被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)更簡(jiǎn)潔。請(qǐng)參閱我們之前的博客“科學(xué)論文中的主被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)”，了解更多關(guān)于這個(gè)話題的信息。

避免迂回的表達(dá)

原文 ： To find out more particular knowledge of the effects of FGF21 …

改后： To better understand the effects of FGF21 …

To find out more particular knowledge是to better understand的一種更迂回的說(shuō)法。

原文： We measured the effects of FLP on apple juice yield and flavour, the results of which are presented in Figure 1.

改后： We measured the effects of FLP on apple juice yield and flavour (Figure 1).

(Figure 1)與the results of which are presented in Figure 1一樣清晰，但更簡(jiǎn)潔。

原文： It has been reported that certain pri-miRNAs are highly expressed in human embryonic stem cells.

改后： Certain pri-miRNAs are highly expressed in human embryonic stem cells.

It has been reported that 不必要地拖延了陳述的要點(diǎn)。用主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)更直接。

尋找偽裝成名詞的動(dòng)詞

原文 ： Tissue examination was done by light microscopy.

改后： Tissues were examined by light microscopy.

在原句子中，動(dòng)詞“to examine”用作名詞，即“examination”。當(dāng)作者這樣做時(shí)，必須加上弱動(dòng)詞，如was done。

原文 ： An increase in the level of amyloid peptides was observed.

改后： The level of amyloid peptides increased.

Using increase/decrease as nouns, i.e., an increase/a decrease, often increases wordiness.

increase/decrease用作名詞，例如an increase/a decrease，通常會(huì)增加單詞的冗余度。